Pen in hand, she pours words onto a fresh page of her journal, thoughts and emotions spilling from her mind onto the paper. She sits by her window, pondering new ideas as she stares out at the Zinnias in her garden. A spark of inspiration ignites in her mind as she carefully traces each letter, the ink swirling carefully to create the next line in her poem.
This year, senior Emma Lopez published a poetry book titled “Through the Cracks, We Bloom” with Kindle Direct Publishing under the pen name Lillian Connors. The book features a collection of 185 poems inspired by her personal experiences and mental health journey. Lopez spent three years writing poems for her book, recording her revelations about anxiety, depression, hopefulness, and joy.
“When I was younger, I really struggled with my mental health,” Lopez said. “It got really bad, but then I got myself out of it. I was always really proud of that, and so I wanted to write about that and how amazing I feel now that I’ve really healed and found peace.”
The titles of each chapter of Lopez’s book use the phases of a flower as a metaphor for the progression of her mental health. The first section of the book, titled “Withering,” recounts her experiences with bullying and the effects it had on the way she perceived herself. Lopez describes the thoughts and emotions of her younger self, covering topics like depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem.
“Whenever I see someone having the same issues that I had, the same insecurities, I’m like, ‘Oh my God, if only I could show you my thought process of this exact issue that you’re going through, just to show you that you don’t have to think about yourself this way,’” Lopez said. “Publishing a poetry book is really the way I can get my ideas out there. If anyone who reads this had the same issues as me, I want to make them feel like they’re not alone.”
The second section of the book, titled “Growing,” describes the shift in her mindset as she begins to heal and recognize her self-worth. In seventh grade, Lopez moved to Austin from California, a key moment for her transition into a happier state of mind. The fresh start gave her time to rethink her insecurities and discover new revelations about her mental health.
“It was the first time I’d ever been completely away from all the people who were so mean to me, and I was also really far away from my friends who weren’t really my friends,” Lopez said. “It really gave me a lot of time to think because I was kind of reflecting in isolation. That was where most of the change in me becoming confident happened, and that was when I really started writing a lot.”
In the third and final section of the book, “Blooming,” Lopez explores feelings of hope as she heals and finds peace within herself. Her poems describe her self-love as she discovers joy in her life and finds the freedom to be herself. Lopez’s mom, Dana Lopez, supported and cheered for her as she unveiled each chapter of the book.
“As I read the poems, I can see Emma expressing her whole self, working her experience, imagination, and empathy into the lines,” Dana said. “I’m really proud of Emma for taking on this project and seeing it through. The difference between a dream and a goal is a plan, and I’m so glad this one came together.”
Emma used Canva to create the illustrations for her book. Her illustrations highlight the metaphors in her poems, conveying themes of social anxiety, hope, and self-love. Emma expressed herself through her art, choosing to make the drawings simple and abstract.
“In later parts of the book, there is a bird that I think I did really well on,” Emma said. “It takes up half the page, and it has a broken wing. I really like that one, because I think it’s my prettiest drawing in the book.”
Emma dedicated her book to her close friend Serra Gomez, who inspired her to write. Gomez was amazed by her poetry and encouraged her to put her poems into a book. She supported Emma throughout her poetry journey and helped her brainstorm ideas for poems.
“Her book shows how much she loves to write, and it also is a little bit of a window into her life,” Gomez said. “She has a goal to be the best she can, and I think that goal was channeled into making the best book she could. I’m really, really happy for her.”
Emma stated she uses poetry as an artistic outlet to express her inner thoughts and emotions. She believes that the last poem in her book encapsulates her entire journey through mental health and poetry.
“It’s a short poem, and it only has a tiny illustration, but it’s more of a poem about how I am so stubborn and have so much willpower, that even though all this bad stuff happened to me I am still blooming from within,” Emma said. “One of the lines from the poem is, ‘What are weeds, if not survivors,’ because I felt like a weed for most of my life, and I really felt like it was a bad thing. But now I realize, I have a lot of perseverance, and that’s really something I should be proud of.”
