Sexual Assault: Gender differences and unhealthy relationships

Gender differences 

According to the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network, 82% of juvenile rape victims are female. In the case of the teacher and student at Bowie, the abuser was female and the victim was male.

“I’ve seen students reacting in favor of the teacher or in support of the guy, who I don’t know, hooked up with a teacher,” Patterson said. “I’ve seen people promoting that behavior, but I feel like if it were a man and a girl, there would be much more backlash.”

For San Esteban, it’s important to listen to someone about their experience and honestly consider their story.

“As a society, we tend to have a more submissive view on girls and femininity, which I don’t like,” San Esteban said. “I think everybody should be treated equal, but because we have this view of women being more submissive, anytime there is a guy that comes out and says [he] was raped by a girl, it’s kind of like ‘oh that couldn’t happen, a girl couldn’t do that.’”

Huq believes male victims are often discounted.

“It’s a much bigger deal to most people if a woman is sexually assaulted,” Huq said. “There’s the implication that a male typically has that control over themselves, and if they’re being sexually assaulted, it’s easier for them to push the woman away. I don’t think that’s an assumption that should be made necessarily, but I feel like it’s one that’s commonly made.”

Unhealthy relationships

Within relationships, sometimes it can be difficult to read the lines of consent. For San Esteban, it is important to keep open communication.

“I feel like within a romantic relationship it can be really hard to say no,” San Esteban said. “I feel like if you’re putting the signs out there that say no, it is also up to your partner to read into those signs and try and accommodate. Obviously, it’s a two-way relationship, and you have to work with each other.”

High school relationships are often the first romantic and sexual relationships that people have. Algoe believes that teenagers should be aware that they never have to let something happen if they don’t want it.

“We have this culture [that] you owe your partners something, like you’re in a relationship so you’re supposed to have sex,” Algoe said. “I don’t think we have enough people talking about how you don’t have to do that all the time, and it’s not an obligation.”

According to Algoe, some people don’t believe that rape by a significant other can occur.

“Even if you’ve given consent at the beginning, if you change your mind and that person still tries to instigate it, I think that could constitute as sexual assault,” Algoe said. “Most sexual assault is committed by people that you know, and even if starts out as something consensual it can turn into something else really quickly.”

San Esteban believes that following sexual assault, all relationships, romantic and platonic, become more difficult.

“All of a sudden you’re scared of who to trust, and that must be the hardest because we’re social creatures,” San Esteban said. “We like being with people and we like talking to people, but if you suddenly feel alone, that must be so hard.”